I feel like I'm back in an argument that concerns the following factors: gossip behind back, cattiness, and rape, and in my mind, unconditional love. Don't connect the dots in a deformed manner, I'll explain.
Guy's ultimately want a loyal woman. Someone that won't speak bad of them, someone who they know will be by their side. Not all guys immediately know this. The disloyalty really does piss them off, but they will attack in different ways saying what they are mad at, lest they get found out for stalking to discover the gossip.
First off, there are a lot of other valuable aspects in a relationship, but sometimes, this one can be a deal breaker.
My main point is and has always been give and take. Men want an unconditional, loyal, and faithful love. I have never felt that initially, or in return. I want it too. I think everyone wished they could be loved unconditionally.
Men need to understand how complicated women are. IT DOES DEPEND ON A LOT OF FACTORS. Objectify, name call all you want to because we don't bend as much as you'd like us to, to how you would want us to be. I guess some women's backbones are stronger than others.
I'm the type who has loved without having to be loved in return from time to time. I have my own agenda and my own story. In these types of one-sided love relationships, it has not been unconditional, but there have been specific things or times about the person that I have grown to love. I don't stay in love forever, because ultimately, I want to find a man who loves me in return. I want a committed and unconditionally loving relationship as well. Again, it is give and take.
I've learned a lot along the way and have ran into several people, I don't like to carelessly call all men the same because I do see how different people can be. I hate that people generalize and label so easily.
There are just different seasons and occurences in my life. When choosing to love someone for the long haul, I look at the two of us and am capable of making judgements on my own. Of course, he has the right as well, to call the shots to and make up his mind and judgement as to what he wants. If he can't communicate it, then he hasn't matched my standard to begin with and I don't feel a huge loss.
When it comes back to the simple argument though of girls gossiping about guys, girls are focused on their own survival. They make judgements based on their timing and what they think would be best for themself. Some judgements could be inadequate or faulty, but that is up to the woman to do and say what she wants to do and say. For some of the horrible things guys do to girls, and I'll admit how unfair it is for women to be catty and gossipy, I say there is conflicting power issues. I don't think its fair for guys to want to get away with some of the things they do and say either and act like its ok when it isn't. I hate how guys are so avoidant and some not even very logical when it comes to arguing. Most are quite selfish and insensitive. I really want someone who isn't one sided and talks to me like we're actual partners, regardless if we are married or not. If a guy would ever want to get married to me, he is automatically off to a bad start if he doesn't even speak to me at a good level. It usually doesn't last long at all. The chauvenists don't even care and I'm not upset that they're just not that into me. Its ok, really, it is.
Another thing that is annoying on this matter is the unbalance of it all. And I hate it: one end of the spectrum is stalking, interrogation, rape, the other end is a total denial that a guy even cares, but wants to be possessive anyway, or uses it at a later time when its not even part of a real argument, but just something to use against you. This latter negative end is also hair-pulling dysfunction. That is my take on the issue. Not interested in either type and am looking for a well-balanced man.
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